& Cover Letter Humor
- "I demand a
salary commiserate with my extensive experience."
- "I have lurnt
Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet
- "Received a
plague for Salesperson of the Year."
- "As indicted,
I have over five years of analyzing investments."
- "Reason for
leaving last job: maturity leave."
in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."
Say that again?
- "Wholly responsible
for two (2) failed financial institutions."
- "Failed bar
exam with relatively high grades."
- "It's best
for employers that I not work with people."
- "Am a perfectionist
and rarely if if ever forget details."
- "Finished eighth
in my class of ten."
- "I am loyal
to my employer at all costs....Please feel free to respond to my resume on
my office voice mail."
"I show great attention to detale."
Digging a deeper
hole for myself:
- "Note: Please
don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."
- "Reason for
leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am
every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions."
- "The company
made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers."
- "My goal is
to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose
I should try stock brokerage."
- "I have an
excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
None. I've left a path of destruction behind me."
1999-2017 by CivilEngineeringJOBS.com